Just give us a name, not a number, for roads

We have a friend in New Orleans. Whenever this friend has a question about something, he says, "I've got myself a powerful curious."

We have a powerful curious, and it deals with the ubiquitous electronic message signs that the state roadies sprinkle around the county to warn us of detours and road closures at construction sites.

When we're screaming north on Interstate 275, one such message board informs us that one of the exit lanes to Roosevelt Boulevard will be closed during specific evening hours.

But when we're driving around the Tyrone area, the message boards warn of construction along State Road 595. How many of you out there know that Tyrone Boulevard is also SR 595?

I see only two hands. You two in the back, sit down.

So we asked the roadies' crack info maven, Kris Carson, if there is a policy preference when it comes to referring to roads by their official number designation or by their more familiar names.

Kris told us she suspected that it might have something to do with how long the common names are -- there's only so much room on a message board, for goodness' sake. But we noted that the interstate sign abbreviates Roosevelt Boulevard as Roos Blv, and everybody seems to know what it means. Roosevelt is a longer name than Tyrone.

As it turns out, there is no policy about which to use. However, if there is any doubt, the state construction folks tend to come down in favor of the state road designations. They reason that it will be more helpful to out-of-towners who are referring to maps.

So we checked our maps, and they all show Tyrone Boulevard as Alt. 19. There's no mention of a state road designation at all.

This funky matter came up last year when the Florida Highway Patrol started a Web page listing all active accident investigations, which would have helped motorists if not for the fact that the FHP uses SR designations, too.

I-275 is SR 93, for example. Fourth Street is SR 687. And so on. Now, the FHP added a translation link, so you can figure out what they're really talking about. If you care to check it out, the site is: http://www.fhp.state.fl.us/traffic/.

Jessie so loves to bring you news you can use.

Okay, let's get to the useless stuff.

Driving west on Gandy Boulevard, just as you approach the bridge over U.S. 19 where Gandy becomes Park Boulevard, there is a glaring white-on-red sign that informs all motorists they are traveling the "Wrong Way."

Jessie and I circled that sign three times last week, trying to figure out to what it referred. There's no access there to eastbound traffic, such as a ramp that westbound motorists shouldn't use. The median is nothing but a long, unbroken barrier.

So how can westbound traffic in the westbound lanes be going the wrong way?

Inquiring minds want to know.

Speaking of signs that are confusing, Mike Pizzorusso of Seminole found a dandy.

It is on Park Boulevard eastbound at 52nd Street. Park is a divided highway in that area, with a nice median. But just as you cross 52nd Street, a sign directs eastbound Park Boulevard traffic to swing left to the opposite side of the median.

To Mike's mind, and to ours, this would put eastbound traffic in immediate danger of head-on collisions with westbound traffic. And, as we all know now, the westbound drivers are totally confused already because they were informed on the other side of the U.S. 19 overpass that they're going the "Wrong Way."

I think the traffic gurus in Pinellas Park are goofing on us.

We had a rude awakening recently driving on Dr. M.L. King (Ninth) Street and turning onto westbound Seventh Avenue S. An enormous section of pavement has come up, revealing the old brick street beneath like an open wound.

You take that stretch too fast, Matey, and we can guarantee it will shiver your timbers.

For the rough ride, the intersection wins the Eyeball Jiggler of the Week award.

And we have a Carbungle for you this week. If anyone out there doesn't recall what a Carbungle is, it covers things that other drivers do that make your blood boil.

This involves two vehicles driving in two lanes that merge into one. One vehicle is trailing the other in the lane that runs out. But as the merge occurs, the trailing vehicle speeds up and goes around the other car on the right, essentially putting both vehicles side by side in one lane.

If that weren't crummy enough, the passing vehicle then pulls in front of the other one, then moves a lane or two to the left.

Why can't the trailing car simply fall in behind and then move left?

What is the driver of the offending vehicle trying to prove? So you have the muscle under your hood to pass me. Big leaky deal.

Once again, we cry into the muggy night: Where, oh, where, are standards?

A few weeks ago we urged you to participate in a study that would pay you $40 for five hours of your time and improve your driving skills. A lot of you responded, but more volunteers are needed.

The study is being done by the Area Agency on Aging of Pasco-Pinellas, which wants to learn something about the needs of older drivers. You qualify if you are 65 or older, have a valid Florida driver's license, and have a memory or medical disorder.

The first session, which takes two hours, involves in-office evaluations. The second, a three-hour session, involves tasks of attention and memory, road sign recognition and completion of an on-road driving task.

This driving examination cannot have any impact on the status of your license. It is a private study, and the results will be kept confidential.

If you are interested, call 570-9696, ext. 261.

-- Dr. Delay can be reached by e-mail at docdelay@sptimes.com, by fax at (727) 893-8675 or by snail mail at 490 First Ave., S, St. Petersburg 33701.

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